Description:
Wirydianna of Bnińska 1° voto Raczyńska 2° voto Mielżyńska (1719-1797). “Pious, diligent, kind to the poor, polite to foreigners, and towards us noble and even very strict, because she loved us the most!” [1].
Wirydianna of Bnińska was born most likely in the year 1719 as the daughter of Wojciech – a Kowalski castellan and Katarzyna Cienska [2]. She grew up in a noble, yet not wealthy family. The only way to change this state of affairs was a beneficial marriage. It is hard to imagine a more worthy suitor for the hand of the young, very beautiful noblewoman than a well-situated voivode, one of the heirs of the Wielkopolska line of the Raczyński family.
And so most likely in 1739 Wirydianna of Bnińska married the 46-year-old Leon Raczyński [3]. Raczyński agreed to enter into his first marriage relatively late. He postponed his decision as long as he could. Betrothed to Wirydianna, he reserved the right to keep this event a secret. So that in case of a change of his decision at the last moment, it would not harm the fiancee too much [4]. What was the cause of his fear of marriage? Was he afraid of rejection or of the indissolubility of the bond he was entering into, it is difficult for us to say unequivocally today. Certainly, the difficult character of Leon had an influence on this. “He was a man with delusions of grandeur and difficult to deal with,” as his namesake granddaughter describes him [4]. Wirydianna had to make many concessions in a marriage that was as unpredictable as it was demanding. Nevertheless, the Raczyńskis had a large brood of children, of which three reached adulthood: Katarzyna, Filip and Estera.
In Wyszyna – Leon’s ancestral home, Wirydianna lived even after his death in 1755. She stayed here until Filip reached adulthood. Then she gave him the property and moved to the estate of her second husband. The house in Wyszyna fully depicted Leon’s extravagant, fortress-like and militant inclinations. It was surrounded by a rampart and a meter-deep moat [5].
The family urged the widow to quickly enter into a second marriage with Józef Mielżyński, insinuating that she herself would not be able to properly manage the estate and, as a consequence, deprive her children of their livelihood [6]. In 1757, driven by concern for her own and her offspring’s future, she stood at the bridal altar alongside Józef Klemens Mielżyński [7]. As reported by the “Kurier Polski” in 1757, a private wedding was held in Wyszyna in February, of His Highness Mielżyński, Śremski Castellan [?] with Her Highness Raczyńska, Santocki Castellan, widow [8].
Unfortunately, the next marriage also brought Wirydianna many worries. Her second husband, although he always treated his chosen one with the respect due to her, fell into a terrible addiction to drinking. This is how Wirydianna Fiszerowa remembers the fate of her grandmother: “The unfortunate voivode even in his drunken state treated my grandmother with respect. She showed him respect in return, not because he insisted on it, but out of conviction that both nature and religion require a woman to be submissive to her husband” [9].
Wirydianna Mielżyńska was very pious. She accepted the “decrees of Providence” with humility, and this state only deepened with age. None of the offspring survived from the marriage to Józef Klemens. Wirydianna thus fully devoted herself to the affairs of Leon’s children and their common grandchildren. In this way, she perfectly fulfilled the role of educator, confidante and guardian of national education and culture written for elderly matrons [10].
When 12-year-old daughter Katarzyna married 40-year-old Józef Radoliński, their beloved granddaughter Wirydianna, later Mrs. Fiszerowa, the noted diarist, was born. Her memoirs bring us closer to the fate of the Raczyński family members [10].
It is no doubt that she favored Filip the most out of her three children. She felt that she had a debt to repay him. An immense feeling of guilt dominated her actions. At all costs, she tried to make up for the lord’s second marriage. Unfortunately, Filip consciously exploited this arrangement for his own benefit.
In a month’s time, I will tell you about Esther, the second daughter of Wirydianna from Bnińskich and Leon Raczyński. Now let us return to the role of grandmother, which our today’s heroine fulfilled with devoted care. In 1790, Michalina Raczyńska, the wife of Filip, passed away. She left two boys – Edward and Atanazy – behind. Until 1797, Wirydianna, their grandmother, took care of them. She took the boys from Rogalin to Chobienice, the property of Mielżyńskich [11]. The children remember her with respect. They depict her as a determined, kind, pious, helpful and stern woman. “By birth she was proud and overly impatient, yet she managed to control herself. Towards the children she was authoritarian, yet she easily gave in to those who opposed her” [12]. “She took care of our health, relieved our minor needs and treated us very severely. We did not dare to speak or sit in her presence without permission. She punished us for childish offences, explaining that it was for our good in this world and for our salvation in the world to come” [13].
Wirydianna Fiszerowa remembers that as soon as the clock struck the hour, all the girls in her care had to say the “Zdrowaśki”. “During carnival, she made us pray for those who offended God in this mad period – how willingly would we have followed their example!” [14]. It was also customary, the diarist remembers, that the grandmother would commemorate the anniversaries of the deaths of their ancestors at least once a week. She would surround herself with people of the clergy with pleasure. There were even several priests living permanently on the property, including Wirydianna Mielżyńska’s personal confessor. On her name day, the 1st of February, all the relatives would gather in Chobienice to personally make their wishes and thus show the matriarch the respect due to her.
In 1792, Wirydianna buried her second husband and, after five years, on the 9th of September 1797, she finished her life in Chobienice, at the age of 78. She passed away in peace. Her body was taken to Woźniki, where she was laid to rest in the convent jointly founded by the Raczyńskis and Mielżyńskis, alongside her first husband, Leon Raczyński [15]. After the grandmother’s death, Edward and Atanazy Raczyńskis returned to Rogalin under the care of their aunt Esther and their father, Filip.
I will tell you about the fate of Wirydianna and Leon Raczyński’s daughter, Esther Raczyńska, in May.